Me back! You back?...Me crazy, as usual:)

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, Oh –My- God!!! Is it really more than a week since I last posted? Shameful! Disgraceful! Oh my God! (Yeah, for an agnostic, I am pretty possessive about my God!)(Oops, too many sentences with exclamation mark!…oops, did it again)

Actually, the reasons for this are many and it might be pretty torturous experience reading through all the reasons. But I will put you through it anyway. As a book I am reading these days puts it, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” So, I will, in fact, be doing you guys a favor. You’re welcome.

So here are the reasons I did not post these past few days:

1.I help out in our family business. (No, that is not a reason, I am just starting at the start, be patient!) This week the phone was ringing off the hook because we had places few ads. So a lot of my time was spent answering questions like (these are all real questions, mind you!)-

a.Caller:You are giving a free book, why are you giving a free book? Why don’t you want money? Is it really free, or are you just saying this?
b.Caller((a person from North East India):I am in Kerala now, how far is Kochi from here?
c.Caller: Have you sent the books?
Me: Yes.
Caller: How did you send it?
Me: By registered post.
Caller: How many days does it take to reach “xyz” (some unknown part of the world)?
Me: Usually 7-10 days.
Caller: Can’t you make it faster?
(This after the books have been sent, I think he expected me to steal the parcel from the post office and then rush into my private jet to deliver the books to him personally.)
d.Caller: Amma @@##$%^*(Some gibberish in some language I did not understand, I don’t think they were swear words…I hope not)
Me: Beg you pardon?
Caller: Amma @@##$%^*
Me: Hello, can you speak English?
Caller: Entha ooru? (Literally: Which place?, in Tamil )
Me: Kerala- Kochi.
Caller: (In English) Keep phone.
e.Caller: I have no friends, I want learn English language. You talk me everyday. I friend you daily and talk phone. Ok?
Me: Sorry, I can’t speak to you on phone daily. I have to work.
Caller: When work over? I am decent man. Don’t take wrong, ok?
Me: I am sorry, that is not possible (Hang up.)
f.Caller:Hello, is it Reader’s Digest? (Because one of the ads appeared in RD!!)
And this goes on and on and on.

2.Another related problem is that I get these wonderful emails:

a.Some that give addresses like- Ravinder Singh,
Amritsar,
Punjab.
And when I write in to them asking for their complete address, they try to convince me that this address is sufficient!
b.Or say stuff like- I had read your ad in 1978. I have always read your ads. Can you give me a discount? (Yeah, that is some kind of loyalty that DESERVES discounts!)
c.I had got a discount offer from you, the last date was June 2,1999. I want that same discount now, because I did not use it then. (Totally his birth right)
So as you can imagine, I am pretty much at my wit’s end (which is not to far from the beginning, given that I do not have a wit to begin with!) but it does not end here.

3.I had a room in the office all to myself (Ah! Those days!). But now because of space constrains with new staff coming in and other issues, 5 people have shifted to my room. They do not talk loudly, they do not disturb me… but there is this constant buzz behind me which DOES NOT HELP writing. (Also I cannot waste my time on blogs when they are here, because this is our business and if we don’t appear sincere, what can we expect from the rest?)

4.My husband and mom (my MIL) love each other, but they tend to express this affection by shouting at each other at the drop the hat. They scream at each other and you really feel tempted to move away all sharp and harmful objects, lest they stab each other. It is sort of ok when they do it at home- only I have to witness it (they dare not scream that way in front of Dad) but when they do it in office, it can get a leeeeetle embarrassing, so I try to distract the staff with inane jokes. They’re neither funny, nor original and the staff has to bear the double torture of putting up with the fight and my jokes! So, this is a habit I am trying to get out of. But again, when they shout, writing is impossible.

5.I admit. All the other excuses, are just excuses, nothing concrete. I was busy and rest of the time I was just plain lazy. But I really could not get myself to do anything I loved- I didn’t go for walks, blog or even eat junk! So, it was sort of a sabbatical from all that I loved and NOW I AM BACK!(You are supposed to rejoice, not feel scared!)

So “Hi again! Wassup??”